About me

Aged 16, my identical twin daughters developed anorexia nervosa following a short period of dieting. Both rapidly lost weight, and it quickly became apparent that there was a problem. They were starting to have difficulty eating food and their health was becoming compromised. Thankfully, one of my daughters quickly recovered without intervention. Six years on, her sister is still struggling with anorexia nervosa.

I believe that, first and foremost, anorexia nervosa is a biological disorder. It occurs in someone who has the ‘right’ genetics AND when the conditions are met for the disorder to develop (not enough calories for the brain and body to function normally). There may be some other environmental factors that contribute to the development of AN, but Instagram, fashion, bad parenting, bullying and diet culture on their own do not cause anorexia nervosa. AN’s roots lie deep within a person’s body, in their genes and in the complex chemistry of the human body.

Over the years, my family has been let down by GPs, psychologists, psychiatrists and others who have had a fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of this condition; have offered bad advice; and even, on one occasion, refused to provide help because my child wasn’t thin enough — despite her obvious mental distress.

It has become apparent to me that there are many people, including those whose job it is to treat people with AN, who know very little about it. In fact, I have encountered so many misconceptions about AN that I decided it was time for somebody to put them right.

This is important because if doctors, nurses, therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, dieiticians and parents misunderstand anorexia nervosa so badly, how can they help someone to get better? And if a person with anorexia nervosa is so misinformed about what’s going on, how can they recover?

At present, the relapse rate after treatment in the UK and elsewhere is extremely high (and that’s if someone can access treatment at all). That suggests that the current treatment, for many people, simply isn’t good enough. And I believe that is because many treatment providers are just not getting it right. They may discharge people at a ‘normal’ weight, but often this is too low, the anorexic thinking has not been properly addressed and the person with anorexia has not been given the tools, nor built up the resilience, to remain healthy.

Anorexia nervosa is a devastating condition. But the people who tend to develop it are wonderful, bright human beings who deserve a chance to have proper treatment, fully recover and live meaningful and happy lives. And their families deserve that too. Because they love them through it all — the anger, the fear, the pain, the sadness, the downright torture of watching your child starve. I want to see an end to this suffering. For everyone.

And the beginning of the end is understanding.

I hope you enjoy this blog and find it useful. I have decided to remain anonymous on here because I do not want to identify my daughters. I can tell you that I live in the UK, am married to an extraordinary human and love gardening, lazy Saturdays and crafts.

Contact me if you’d like to suggest topics to cover, or if you’d like to contribute or offer feedback.

Please note that this site is not intended to be a replacement for evidence-based treatment. Please talk to a doctor if you are worried about someone, or if you think you may have an eating disorder.